THG's Jersey Shore recap, while thorough, does not do justice to Snooki.
On last night's special episode, she went on a bender so magnificent that she got lost and couldn't find the beach FROM THE BOARDWALK, then when she did make it down, proceeded to eat sand. Then she dropped F-bombs on the cops.
"Get the f**k off me," pleaded Snooki, as JWoww and Deena Nicole cringed. "I'm a f**king good person!" A drunk, hilarious mess of a person, anyway: