Reliable sources have confirmed that Melissa Etheridge really is dating Linda Wallem, the creator of Nurse Jackie and former best friend of ex-wife Tammy Lynn Michaels.
That's awkward. But it's not nearly as awkward as the way in which Michales learned that Etheridge was being unfaithful, as explained in a new poem Tammy has posted on her website, titled "speak, spread walk the talk." It tells the story of a mis-labeled box of dildos.
Writes Michaels:
i moved out november 23rd 2009
she said it would help
i was convinced it would
too and i trusted there was
no one else
i didn't know
there was someone moving in
as i was moving out
indeed
three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that's when i felt something was up
i called her
"i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?"
one never even said one was breaking up with me
one only says things in song and string
and then i listened to the album
and i understood
oh
you don't want to work it out
oh you already have someone in the wings
oh you already have pined for another
oh you are done here
oh i have become another one of your exes
oh i have become an album
You really need to go read the entire missive on Tammy's blog.