Major intoxication. Public urination. And the embarrassing photos Great Britain's Royal Family does not want anyone to see.
All of these developments and more are teased in the latest issue of Life & Style, which we're confident is a completely reliable source when it comes to news on Kate Middleton and her relatives.
According to sources not remotely close to the family, pictures were taken of the Middleton family on April 15, 2009. They allegedly show Kate's brother, James, in an overly drunken state, headed for a London lounge named Raffles.
"He was so out of it, he shocked bystanders by urinating through a railing into a historic, private garden," an insider claims. "Kate was mortified and tried to keep people from taking his picture, but he didn't seem to care."
Expect these totally legitimate pictures to cause problems between Middleton and the Queen.
"Now that Kate is joining her family, those photos are more embarrassing than when they were originally taken," a Royal source tells the tabloid, adding that Elizabeth has told the pair to party in private:
"She's even asked William and Kate to cut down on their evenings out because she doesn't think it looks right for them to be partying so much during a recession."