Rachel Uchitel had affairs with Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz, but the professional mistress swears that the public has a completely incorrect perception of her.
Pretty sure we do not, but whatever helps you sleep, Rache.
"I am different than the cartoon character that people have made me out to be," she tells E! News. "I am just a normal girl. Like anybody you would know." LOL.
Rachel Uchitel: The skanky, professional mistress next door.
"I am absolutely not the wicked witch people have made me out to be," she says. "It's hurtful. I am human. It's a hurtful thing to have people talk about you. There are a lot of things that I think people don't know because nobody has ever asked."
*Sniff* Anybody got a tissue?
Promoting her upcoming appearance on Celebrity Rehab, the former event planner, who was reportedly treated for "love addiction" on the reality show, wouldn't talk about Tiger Woods of course, since he paid her $10M to shut her yap.
David Boreanaz, however? Fair game!
"It was a situation where I was deeply in love with somebody and he was deeply in love with me," Rachel said of her sordid affair with the Bones leading man.
"You never really know what you're being told - no matter who you are, no matter what relationship you're in - you never really know if the person is really being honest with you. I took a chance and I bet on the wrong horse."
Asked if she knew his status - he married Jaime Bergman in 2001 and, during her affair with Boreanaz, Bergman was pregnant - Rachel said, "I did know David was married. But I also knew the kind of relationship that David was in."
What the hell does that mean? That it's okay because he was more into her than his wife at the time? As for whether she knew Tiger was married ...
"I understand it is a subject people are really interested in," she says. "It's something I have never spoken about ... something I don't wish to speak about at all."
Not that she could legally say otherwise anyway, but Rachel claims that not commenting about Tiger Woods is her own decision as part of moving on with life.
"I really changed my life in the last year," said Rachel, who is studying to be a detective and dating on Match.com. "I've changed all the people I speak to. I've changed what I do for a living. My entire way that I live is completely different."
So she only pursues non-famous married men now? Good to know?
Here's a clip from her interview with E! News ...