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Judge Nixes O.J. Simpson Appeal; World Devastated

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Christie Prody, Fred Goldman and anyone with a conscience can rest easy after O.J. Simpson lost his appeal of a kidnapping and robbery conviction today.

Juice recruited some lowlife thugs, instructed them to "get some heat", a la Stringer Bell, and jacked a memorabilia dealer to reclaim "his" stuff in 2008.

The Nevada Supreme Court upheld the ruling in the case, stating that none of O.J.'s complaints had merit, and that he should continue doing time.

Worst Person Ever

O.J. appealed on grounds of racial bias, saying prosecutors axed African-American jurors unfairly, and didn't allow his attorneys to ask certain questions.

Specifically, about the two people he killed in 1994.

The former Heisman winner and NFL Hall of Fame member was sentenced to 33 years in prison, with a possibility for parole on good behavior after nine.

Interestingly, one of Simpson's cohorts, Clarence Stewart, is also appealing, arguing that Simpson's involvement unfairly prejudiced a jury against him.

No idea how that would possibly happen ...


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