That douchenozzle Michael Lohan needs to get a clue.
Unable to pry himself away from cameras long enough to give his massive ego a rest and realize he's a terrible father his kid despises, he instead resorts to one ridiculous gimmick after another to get the attention of the media Lindsay Lohan.
His latest stunt? MiLo claims he's going to intentionally fall off the wagon and check himself into the Betty Ford clinic - that way he can be near his little girl!
THE DOUCHE STORE CALLED: That they did, and the situation is serious. Guess what, Mike? They're runnin' low on YOU! [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
Michael Lohan, who Lindsay admits is the root of her problems, says he's willing to stage his own arrest if that's what it takes to get tabloids' Lindsay's attention.
He says he's going to show up at Betty Ford and demand admission. If that attempt to see Lindsay fails, he's going to get drunk, then go back and make a scene.
Okay, he's an awful person and all, but we kind of hope that happens. This is a celeb gossip website, after all. That'd be pretty good as far as THG material goes.