"If you took away music, I wouldn't have a reason to live."
Demi Lovato said many raw, honest things during her MTV Stay Strong special last night. Namely that she has cut herself and fallen victim to eating disorders even after seeking treatment for those issues back in October 2012.
Tuesday, she opened up about all of that and more.
"I cannot tell you that I have not thrown up since treatment. I cannot tell you that I have not cut myself since treatment. I'm not perfect," the 19-year-old said.
Lovato, who was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in treatment, admits that this is an ongoing battle that she will have to work through every day.
The negativity she saw within herself started at the young age of 7, the Disney star explained, saying she "looked in the mirror and never felt good enough."
"I felt like I was living a lie...I was dealing with all this pain, emotionally. And I felt guilt and shame. I decided to take it out on myself. I harmed myself."
Demi Lovato even shared that she had to be on the phone with her sponsor during Thanksgiving this past year so that she wouldn't throw up her meal.
Thankfully, she made it through, but expressed that she felt guilty.
"An addiction is an obsession, something that takes over your mind and your every thought. You think that you can't live without it," she confessed.
"For me, it was not eating and purging and self-harming."
Luckily, Lovato found solace with music and the Lovatics.
"Every time someone asks me for a picture or an autograph, even if I'm having a bad day, I remember, 'You're nothing without this person,'" she said.
"They make it special and give me strength."
It's unusual to see such a frank discussion of such topics. We respect her candor and wish her nothing but the best in this continued struggle.