Yearning to be a mom for years on end, but doomed by fate to become Hollywood's resident lonely girl, Jennifer Aniston is totally adopting a kid! By herself!
Who needs a man in her life? Jen wants this and no critic is going to stop her. The papers are signed. The nanny is lined up. Take that, Brad and Angelina!
Who better than BFF Courteney Cox to guide her along the way? According to an orphanage official, Jen is now the proud parent of a baby from Mexico.
So congrats, Jen. We knew this dream would one day come true!
** - NOTE: None of this is true at all. Star is full of crap as usual.
"Yes, I'm adopting!" said a random girl who once shook Jen's hand.